Being Under the Influence

Scott Russell Sanders’ gripping essay, Under the Influence, is a testimony to the wrong kind of parenting, detached, disembodied, and disastrous. Sanders gives account of his father’s drinking, a medley of stashed bottles and cans, promises to quit for good, but a liver failure in the end.

Sanders doesn’t just recall the drinking but with it the feeling of embarrassment and betrayal by his father for never caring enough for him to stay sober. He also felt responsible, heavy with the burden of never being good enough that his father wanted to remember him. Later in the essay, Sanders admits the drinking wasn’t his fault. His father was unhappy with who he was so  he was driven to the drink, but the alcoholism still greatly affected their family, who hid their father like one might hide a failing report card.

At the end of the essay Sanders admits he never drinks but that he falls victim to a different sort of drug: work. He knows the depression he feels affects his family, and he strives to assure them that he is to blame—not them.

We're creating a "Nation of Wimps"

In her frighteningly true article A Nation of Wimps, Hara Estrof Marano argues hover-craft parents retarded their child's growth. Parents of my generation closely guarded their children like precious jewels or family heirlooms, resulting in an extended youth. Students my age were babied so ridiculously that they cannot make decisions, navigate through problems, and can barely wipe their own butts. Marano emphasizes how stick-tight parents give their children false feelings of accomplishment because mom will explain Billy's bad grade away and dad will drop some twenties to make sure Susie doesn't have detention. Parents are setting their children up for failure because they control every aspect of their child's life.
Marano also depicts how parental suffocation is leading to depression in teenagers and young adults. Eighteen year olds entering college go completely hog wild because it's literally the first time they were able to make their own decision. Cell phones also play a role in how young adults are overly dependent. There's no need to think ahead, to plan, to problem solve because at the push of a button Jared can call his mom to talk to financial aid, can call his bff to meet him for lunch, and he didn't even have to think.  Parents are protecting their children so much that they cannot bear scrutiny if they get a bad grade or have a tough coach, as a result the child feels no self accomplishment, feels no kind of triumph in who they are.
Over protective parents are creating a generation of 20-somethings so sheltered and ignorant that they aren't prepared for life and won't be for another ten years. Marano depicts how playground monitoring keeps children from learning how to negotiate social relationships, which fail as a result because Timmy doesn't know how to share and never had to learn. Timmy can't share so Alex doesn't want to be his friend, and Timmy cries himself to sleep at night wondering why--but that's at five. At 20 Tim--the child formally known as Timmy--still can't maintain relationships because he never had to; Mom set up all the playdates, made all the friends.