Because it's all in a Name

There are two truths I hold self-evident: I am not a writer and this is not an essay, oh, and whatever pollen-emiter you’re growing will smell the same no matter what you call it. Someone important said that a lot better than me—what was his name? Wait, does it really matter? The words hold truth no matter who wrote them. And I’m just trying to make a name for myself. But what does that even mean? My mom totally already named me. But I bet people would think I’m cuter if my name was Molly or smarter if my name was Vivian. Either way people judge you and you judge things based on their names. It’s all programmed into a person’s hardwire: you will judge unjustly. All cows are the same and died for the same price so why do handbag prices fluctuate? Oh yeah, because you pay for the brand, the logo, the prestige—it’s all in a name. Guess Shakspere, Francis Bacon, or that other dead guy missed the boat a bit.